


a messiah's confession

by legobricked



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-25
Updated: 2014-03-14
Packaged: 2018-01-13 18:56:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1237378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/legobricked/pseuds/legobricked
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lucina overhears the camp’s tactician defending her despite their mutual fear and hatred. But Lucina never knew to whom did the tactician aim her hatred to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is rather specific to my headcanons, so if you want a clear(er) image of how I picture lucina/fmu then feel free to check out the first big paragraph of this post: http://howweperceivethings.tumblr.com/post/63741373086
> 
> It's not necessary OF COURSE but maybe it'll inspire you to talk to me about fe:a headcanons /chinhands/
> 
> x-posted from: http://howweperceivethings.tumblr.com/post/71942004679

Lucina heard the shouting while she patrolled the camps. Recognizing her father’s voice almost immediately, she quickly headed to the source, which was the strategy tent. Though the shouting was indistinct, Lucina understood a heated argument when she heard it. Stopping one tent away from the strategy tent, Lucina did her best to listen in on the conversation.

She caught River’s voice, the tactician and her father’s dearest friend. River sounded absolutely furious, though the eavesdropper was unsure about what exactly. Chrom, her father, was much less angry, taking a softer tone which surprised Lucina. Her father, gentle as he always was, would always have a commandeering voice that grabbed your attention and loyalty. It unsettled the girl to hear her father waver.

After Lucina determined it to be safe, she snuck up closer to the tent, hiding to one side of the tent flap to get a better listen. Finally, she was able to catch the conversation and once she did she wished she didn’t hear a single thing.

“She’s still just a child, River, you can’t send her out there alone-“

“She won’t  _be_  alone, Chrom. I told you Morgan will go along with her, too. She’s  _not_  a child either, you’re the only one who thinks that.”

“What, do you think her mother thinks of Lucina to be chopped liver?”

“No, but I know her mother understands that Lucina is a warrior. Why are you so bent on keeping her from this mission?” River slammed the table and the gasp Lucina let out in surprise almost gave her away.  _Why was River defending her?_  Lucina thought. She knew that her father thought she was strong, so why was he…?

“Because she’s my child, and she’s been through so much-“

“Do you think the  _other_  children are chopped liver, Chrom? She’s gone through the same things as the others have, Lucina doesn’t get special treatment.”

“Of course I don’t think that, but she’s the future princess of Ylisse…”

“Which makes her even more suitable for the job. Chrom, I understand what you’re feeling now, but you’re being blinded by your love for her. You told me she wouldn’t be able to complete the mission even though we both know she’s the most suitable. Don’t undervalue your daughter, Chrom.”

Lucina heard her father sigh heavily. For her to hear it through the tent, Lucina knew Chrom was very distraught over this, though from what Lucina understood he had no reason to.

“As you said, she’s the future princess of Ylisse. She has carried the burdens the future her father left her after he died. She also has the responsibility we share, Chrom, and that of the children who came here. She came here with the purpose of erasing the very  _existence_  of her home. She is singlehandedly the soldier with the greatest burden on her shoulders, therefore the strongest of us all, and you’re afraid some crags and the possibility of bandits will end her? How dare you insult your own daughter like that!”

Lucina felt a lump in her throat and her eyes stinging. River muttered a few more words to Chrom, which Lucina couldn’t catch but she did, however, hear some shuffling and someone stomping out of the tent. Thinking it to be her father, Lucina moved from the corner only to be met with the surprised stare of the tactician. River’s eyes widened in realization of Lucina’s eavesdropping and glared at her one last time before heading back to her tent. Chrom sullenly exited the tent afterwards, and would have missed his daughter had he not nearly walked into her. Chrom’s eyes also widened in shock, but he turned away in shame instead of scolding Lucina for listening in on his private conversations.

Lucina could barely look at her father and quickly dismissed herself, not even bothering to say hello or explain herself. It was horrible to find out her father thought she wasn’t capable, but it was even worse to know that the one who championed her was the very person she wanted to kill.

She had tried once, for sure. As River said, unfortunately, Lucina was not as weak as her father thought her to be. She came to the past for the sole reason of preventing her timeline to happen, and she would become a coldblooded killer if it meant sure success. But…

For some reason, River went with it. Lucina asked her why, confused by her compliance, and River gave her an answer just as eloquent as the Grima of the future would have been.

“It’s because I’ll always win in the end. If you don’t follow through, then I survive, that’s simple enough that even someone like you can understand,” River smiled at Lucina, and the Falchion that was pointed at her throat.

“But, if you  _do_  kill me,” River paused. Falchion wavered under the silence. “Then everyone will simply hate you, especially your dearest father, my best friend Chrom.”

Lucina knew she would have to deal with her friends’ disgust at her choice, but Lucina always hoped that they would understand. Owain, Severa, Brady… They’ve all seen the horror she’s been through and would understand, even if they never forgave her. Lucina could live with that just fine, but she had never considered her father’s reaction.

Well, prior to that point, Lucina didn’t exactly see the current Chrom as her father, strictly speaking. Lucina understood that Chrom was not the caring and loving Exalt of Ylisse that Lucina was grateful to call her father in her childhood. However, her father from the future was, in some distant past Lucina never truly knew,  _this_  Chrom. Lucina couldn’t also help the affection this Chrom showered her with, even though she was not the same daughter his wife bore just a few months ago. Even Lucina needed someone to lean on, and though she looked to her lifelong companions of the future for support, it was nothing like the comfort and security Lucina felt when Chrom stroked her hair and hugged her tightly.

Remembering this, Falchion began to tremble under Lucina’s grasp. How was she supposed to deal with her father’s disappointment? No, he wouldn’t be disappointed… He would be furious, and rightly so. He would… hate her.

Lucina felt her resolve crumble under River’s quiet laughter. Falchion lowered steadily under the tactician’s growing smile that mocked Lucina for her stupidity. In the end, it made no difference as Chrom managed to stop Lucina.

The only other time Lucina felt so beaten was when she came face to face with Grima once in the future. Still taking the form of his vessel, Grima ridiculed Lucina for her helplessness and how she couldn’t protect her friends and family. Lucina barely made it out alive then, only thanks to her friends did she and the others manage to escape. It was the most frightening moment of her life, and this encounter was a close second.

So, why was River different now? Lucina had to know, and set out to River’s tent. She found out that Libra was actually looking for River after he discovered that the tactician wasn’t in her tent. Lucina offered to look for her in his stead, bidding Libra goodnight, and began searching in the dark. Libra was kind enough to lend her his lantern, so Lucina was able to find River fairly quickly.

She was standing over a cliff of a decent height, but by no means fatal if one were to slip from the edge, which was exactly where the tactician stood. Hearing Lucina approach, River greeted her with a cold stare that stopped the girl in her tracks. It took some time for Lucina to find her voice, but she finally managed and hoped she didn’t sound too afraid to River.

“Why did you defend me back there? You have no reason to.”

River kept her gaze steady as she slowly turned to face Lucina. One foot was planted halfway over the edge, but River did not sway.

“Don’t misunderstand me. I have every reason to make sure you get that mission. As  _you_ _heard before_ , you’re the perfect candidate for it. There’s nothing else.” River slowly moved back to align herself along the edge of the cliff. Lucina waited for her to say something else, but River didn’t so much as make a sound.

“But that doesn’t explain what you said about me being the strongest!” Lucina shouted in her frustration. River wildly snapped back at her, taking a few steps her direction. Lucina took a few steps back herself out of fear and the sudden sense of danger.

“I meant what I said, make no mistake, but I only said those things to get Chrom to listen to me! His love will ruin us just like anyone else’s, and I  _know_  you understand that better than what your father will ever be able to comprehend.  _That_  is why I spoke up for you.”

“Yes, I understand your sentiment, but  _love_  won’t ruin us!” Lucina protested, taking a few steps towards River. “You will!”

Lucina could barely catch the quick punch River threw at her, and River still grazed Lucina’s cheek enough to make her stumble.

“Don’t you _ever_ talk to me like that again. In fact, don’t ever talk to me period. I don’t want to see your face outside of strategy meetings and planning, you understand?”

“It’s not like I  _want_  to see you! I don’t want to be reminded of the one who ruined my entire world every time I see you!”

“And  _I_  don’t want to be reminded that I even considered to accept him whenever I see  _you_!”

There was a tense silence in the air. Lucina gaped, too shocked to say anything because of River’s confession. The tactician breathed heavily, never breaking eye contact with the princess from the future, and the end result of River accepting Grima.

“You don’t think I ever thought about it after Validar told us what I am?” River scoffed. “You really are stupid, aren’t you? I can’t stand seeing the sight of you not because I bear some grudge against you as Chrom’s daughter. I don’t want to look at you because you’re the one who suffered the most from my future self’s decision. Knowing that I considered that route to be an option makes me so sick I can’t even do my work.”

The cold stare returned and Lucina almost flinched from the sight.

“And I don’t want to look at you because I always feel so afraid. I hate that I can’t shake off this feeling, even though it drives me more than anything else to succeed,” Lucina swallowed her throat. “I feel weak next to you. I can’t help but remember his face when I met him up close once. It was still your face, of course,” Lucina recalled, “and it was so similar to that look you have now. But… I know that wasn’t you.”

River made no movement as Lucina slowly walked up to her. River saw no fear in Lucina’s eyes and waited as she approached and placed the lantern on the ground.

“I trust you, River,” Lucina took a deep and shaky breath. “And I know you’ll be able to save this world where I couldn’t for mine… Good night.”

Then, Lucina walked away quietly. River watched her figure blend in with the darkness and stood watching even after Lucina disappeared. She turned to look out over the cliff side and stared down the drop where she could barely discern a lake. Slowly, River picked up the lantern and made her way back to her tent and prepared herself for the trials of tomorrow.


	2. part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucina watches their tactician cope with the fate of the world standing upon her shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is less of a sequel and more of a vague continuation of my headcanon for my fmu & lucina, but considering this covers the same relationship in the same manner, I'll call it a sequel

“What is one life, when weighed against millions?”

“Stop it! You’re one of us. You’ll ALWAYS be one of us. There has to be another way. We just have to find it. Promise me, River. Promise me you won’t do this!”

Lucina didn’t say a word as she saw River’s face twitch into a grin. Obviously the monumental prospect that River had to effectively commit suicide weighed heavily on her, but still she teased until the end.

“I make no promises to you,” she said to Chrom, her voice barely above a whisper. “I will do what I wish, regardless of what you ask of me.” Her grin melted into a cold, hard stare as she looked to Lucina’s father, distraught over the idea that he would lose another person important to him. Lucina could only watch the scene unfold quietly, clutching the Falchion that was strapped about her waist.

Sensing the enemies nearby, Lucina called their attention and led them to the battlefield where they met Aversa. Out of the corner of her eye, Lucina saw that River remained stone-faced. She didn’t bat an eyelash when she faced Aversa, or when the battle was won. Chrom didn’t so much as look at River either afterwards, instead commending everyone and telling them to rest and prepare for the battle of their lives.

——————-

It had been a while since the last fight, and the Shepherds found themselves in a strange limbo. They were all preparing for the final confrontation with Grima, yet the training and scouting of the lands left everyone feeling unsettled. River advised they all put their effort into preparing for this one last battle, else the world would end as we know it. While they understood her logic, many had different opinions about the entire situation.

Some felt that there was no point in stalling for time and they should go in now, they’re already strong enough to take on Grima. Others felt that the tactician was wasting time, but they were silenced with an intense training regimen personally designed by the tactician herself, as if River had ears listening in all corners of the camp. Lucina didn’t doubt it. Others, still, were grateful for the extra time, for the Shepherds managed to recruit a few more powerful soldiers: Walhart the Conqueror and Mad King Gangrel’s shade, as well as Aversa and a vagabond who claimed heroic descent from the legend Ike.

Lucina thought nothing about this whole ordeal. Everything would be determined when they battled Grima, what went on until then was arbitrary.

That’s what she would have felt before she learned about River’s nightmares, and before River confessed her fears to the princess. Now, Lucina worried for their tactician just as much as her father did, who refused to speak to River after their last meeting. Knowing that River’s malice was actually a result of her fright softened Lucina’s opinion of the tactician, though they still maintained the same distance they held when Lucina threatened to kill River.

How ironic the situation was now compared to then. Back then, Lucina felt nothing towards the tactician and the tactician presumably the same. Now, Lucina wanted to do everything in her power to help River, though she was unsure how.

Lucina came upon River shining and sharpening the swords. She tried to make small talk with the tactician, but was hushed almost immediately. River made no request for help, nor an offer for Lucina to sit by her, so the princess stood in an uncomfortable silence, hovering around the tactician. Finally, River set down the last sword, dusted herself off, and stood.

“Understand that I do this for no one but myself,” River said. “My dreams have become more… vivid these past nights, but I won’t have to worry about them soon.”

A faint smile met Lucina’s gaze, and then River left. As she watched River walk into a tent, presumably to perform another chore, it hit Lucina what River meant.

She asked Brady to join her in her prayers that night. Though he was greatly confused at the request, he complied nonetheless. When asked why she didn’t go to Libra, Lucina told Brady that the monk was already joined by someone else, a frequent and close visitor of his, and Lucina had no intention of interrupting their prayers.


End file.
